Oh my. I can't believe how long it's been since I wrote a post. Rest was not the only thing I did. I had been SOOOOO busy since I left my ex that much of the grief had been suppressed. Well it showed itself since November. I December I got REALLY depressed. I wasn't doing anything. I saw my family in Texas at Christmas and thought I'd be feeling better when I got home. Boy was I wrong!
That's when I decided I needed help. In stopping, all that was avoided arose to be met - and it was ALOT. I can't say I've felt it all or never distract myself, but I have help and am working on it. This is my job now - staying present with all that arises - no matter what it is and how horrible it feels.
So in this case, grief and depression were my wake-up call. It took a pretty loud shout to get my attention, but it did. I am, once again, focused on becoming more conscious everyday.